Tuesday, May 22, 2012

When You Are Suffering...

Tired of this burden.
Not sure where to set it down, though.
Or how.
Or even if I'm supposed to...

I need a Savior today. Funny how salvation isn't really a one-time thing like some suppose. A one-time prayer that covers all the hard days. I need a Savior everyday.

I need a Rescuer. A Redeemer.

     Jesus saves me. Jesus saves me now.

Or so I'm told to pray.
But my hands feel to limp to fold. Tears come more readily than words.
And what to say anyway?

               I'm tired?   I'm weary with the waiting?

We always think bad things happen because of sin.

     "Why was this man born blind? Did his parents sin - or did he sin?" 

'Cause certainly somebody sinned.     Right?

I'm looking around, too. Wondering who's the culprit...  Me again?

             Am I the cause of this mess, Lord?

It's a heavy burden sometimes - my own blindness.

But what was it the Master said?
                          "This happened..."    
       This tragedy. This sorrow. This trial. This ache in my chest.
                                                "...that the Glory of God might be revealed."

What kind of plan is this?
     You're  hurting SO THAT I can heal you?

Does that even fit with my theology?

So many of the most beautiful miracles come through pain.
Even the (super)natural miracle of childbirth comes to us, riding in on waves of pain.
   It never comes with softness only. With quiet calm.
And then this little life is there, it too, letting out a cry after it breaths in it's first breath of air.

The pain leading up seems so.... unbearable.

You just want it DONE.  OVER.   You'd give anything.

But sometimes the only way up and out is through.
Like the children's book:

                   "We can't go over it.
                    We can't go under it.
                    Oh-no! We have to go
                          through it."

So glad there's a promise on the other side. Some day (the Lord knows when) I'll be done going through it.
And I'll be holding my promise in my arms.
 With joy.
With amazement. With laughter.  Feeling the moment all the deeper for having waited so long. Just to get through to that precious gift.
And it will have been WORTH it.

And isn't that the Way of the Cross?
And in my suffering I must remember - I have yet to suffer as He did.  Unto death.

I can see Him now - up ahead.
I do not travel alone on this road of suffering.

We share both in His victory and His suffering. Sometimes at the same time!
Kingdom ways are a paradox.
  Down is Up.
  Death is Life.
  and sometimes the greatest gifts are given, the greatest victories won, on the path of suffering.

He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed to sow
shall come home with shouts of joy - carrying his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:6

Linking up today with:
Growing HomePicture

Life In Bloom

Beautiful Thursdays
Mom Heart Online


  1. Dear Angie,
    What a beautiful poem/prose of thoughts and hope. A number of things you wrote really touched me.I'll just mention one: "So glad there's a promise on the other side. Some day (the Lord knows when) I'll be done going through it.
    And I'll be holding my promise in my arms." Childbirth is an excellent analogy to suffering her on earth. I just read the passage two days ago about the man born blind so that God might be glorified. Yes, we can't put God in tight theological boxes. Sometimes all we can say is "I don't understand this particular thing, but I understand He is great and good and loving."
    Thanks for sharing this and for linking it to B&BB on Bible Love Notes. Thanks also for displaying the button so others can find it. I'm in Croatia today but sending my prayers across the ocean to you. May you have a blessed week.

  2. Thanks for the kind comments and for reading! Have a blessed trip!

  3. Just letting you know that you were featured last week on my blog...you were among the top 3 most viewed linkups! Go grab a featured button!

  4. Thanks for sharing your heart! My own heart has asked the same questions, why? how long? I prefer to think that being a Christ follower is all about life getting better and full of blessing. While that is how the American church often describes Christianity, it's not the Christianity of the Bible. He calls us to carry our cross and to suffer in His name. Through years of walking in darkness, I've learned that we have to be emptied before He can fill us, we have to be wounded before He can heal, and death precedes new life. So glad I stopped by here, such encouraging words!

    1. I couldn't agree more Christina. I feel my own awakening realization to the great gap between American Christianity and the true Christ-life. Teach me Lord!Thanks for reading and commenting.

  5. Reading this heart-stirring post, I think of the lyrics to a song:

    "Savior, please ... keep saving me."

    1. I'd love to hear the rest of the song... sounds like a good one :)

  6. I love that Psalm. Shouts of joy are good.. and need to be a focus of my life, even when so much is tough on a daily [moment-by-moment] basis. Thanks.

  7. Angie, thanks for this post. Yes, we have to go through pain in order to go deeper with the Lord. It is hard to do, but I have heard it said that we should thank God for our painful times. When we do, almost immediately circumstances don't feel quite a bad.